Ultra Premium Ethernet Cable Reviewed

Remember that unreal ethernet cable by Denon? Here is the review of it of an Amazon customer titled ‘It gets me closer to The Lord’. Hilarity ensured.

If I could use a rusty boxcutter to carve a new orifice in my body that’s compatible with this link cable, I would already be doing it. I can just imagine the pure musical goodness that would flow through this cable into the wound and fill me completely — like white, holy light. Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother’s basement.

I only gave it four stars in my review because I can’t find music that is worthy enough to flow through this utterly perfect interconnect.

Here to the review. See also these reviews.

@ haha.nu.

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